Dear Little Rock,

Dear Little Rock,

Some hard things have been happening in my life and it has come out in my driving and in my shopping and in my dining and so I am writing you this letter to thank you. You see last year my perfectly healthy happy three year old did not want to go trick or treating. Yeah. We took him to the doctor. He was diagnosed with leukemia. He had never been to the hospital before. We were admitted and spent our first month there. Unfortunately, he needed a bone marrow transplant and he didn’t make it to receiving one. He died at age four this summer. For the last 10 months I have cut you off in traffic and glanced over after realizing only to see you smile and wave me in.  I have gone 50 on the freeway and you have quietly gone around me without honking or flipping me off. I have sat through green lights without a single person in a long line of cars honking at me. My 1 year old has lain on the floor at a popular restaurant and cried. You have asked if you could give him a sucker. After my son came home on hospice he wanted to go out to eat at IHOP. You over heard me explaining to the manager why we needed to sit in the closed section of the restaurant (immune- suppression from chemotherapy) and you paid for my family’s meal. You have told me you would pray for me. From social security case workers to car insurance agents to the lady whose car I hit in Hot Springs you have prayed for me and I wanted you to know that what you have done for us is irreplaceable. You see sometimes someone’s world is crumbling and they are searching for a break. Somewhere something in life has to ease up or they might not make it. So thanks for not being too hard on me during a time when the last thing I was thinking about was driving. Your kindness has propped up my broken world. And I thank you.

Sincerely,

A mom from Arkansas Children’s Hospital

My letter to an editor

Dear Little Rock Family,

I really enjoy your magazine and its dedication to all things family. I am a Little Rock native who has been away for years and recently returned to the beautiful natural state (right during the hottest summer ever!) I love it here and truly feel our city has so much to offer. I do have one item that I would like to bring to your attention not as a complaint but as a suggestion for future issues. I feel that the “average stay at home mom” is under represented in the world and in the cover stories of your magazine. In a world where the SuperMom complex has reached epidemic proportions I feel it unfair to those of us who “just stay home” to represent Mommyhood as running marathons, organizing campaigns, work in public media, etc. I have truly enjoyed these articles and learning about these Moms and their busy, successful lives, but I consider their lives successful because they are moms not because they are busy ( : Being a good parent takes time and I really admire and enjoy hearing about people who take hits to their social status, personal agenda, and even job standing to parent effectively. Sometimes you can “have your cake and eat it too” but this is very often not the case. There are many of us who don’t “do what we love” because we love our kids. Many assume that we do not have as much passion for work as other (“Well I understand you stay at home, but not her she just loves being a nurse SO much she couldn’t possibly!”) more dedicated individuals or that we have more patience or that we are just “good at mothering.” Raise your hand if you enjoy poopy diapers and housework! Uh, not me. I am not at all patient and there are plenty of things I would rather be doing. I feel that I am teaching my kids an important lesson by staying home with them. Among other things I am teaching them we do not always do what is the most fun or the easiest. We do what is right. Period. I want my kids to be the ones that stop inappropriate bullying, I want my kids to be the ones that sacrifice winning to play the game honestly, I want my kids to be the ones that put people before profits. To do this they will have to be willing to take a hit to their social status here or there, sacrifice their personal agendas, and put others first.

One of my professors wrote an article in which he discussed the idea of finding balance in home and work life. He contended that what we need to find is not balance at all but harmony. He used the example of a symphony orchestra. If all the instruments played together at the same time at the same speed and volume it would not be beautiful music. We need crescendo and decrescendo. We need emphasis on a particular instrument or group of instruments, one instrument growing louder while the others dim or vice versa. That is how beautiful music is created and that is how a beautiful life is created. A wise man once said, “Create a masterpiece of your life.” With each moment I spend with my children I am creating their life experience, something that no one else can do. I have been educated at the university level and have worked in early childhood classrooms (including daycare, preschool, and kindergarten). I have taught parenting classes in Spanish for

United Way

and the DHS. I have been a missionary for my church. I have captained a state championship gymnastics team. And I have been replaced. In all of these capacities, when a child says, “Teacher,” when a parent says, “Maestra,” when a teammate says, “Captain,” they are no longer addressing me. But when my now two year old is eighty years old when he says, “Mama” he will always mean me. I do not think only stay at home moms deserve respect, but I do believe that they have a story just like everyone else that deserves to be told. Thank you for a wonderful magazine and your attention to this letter.

Sincerely,

Jessi

www.iamnotmyskin.blogspot.com