I feel that I should blog. Its been a while. Many, many things have been turning over and over in my mind. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Potty training. Judging based on the content of one's character. Joy. Happiness. Understanding. Peace. The scriptures speak of people whose eyes cannot see afar off. Can mine? The scriptures speak of understanding with your heart and thus becoming converted. According to these verses Christ will heal us if only we will understand. With our hearts. I want the Lord to teach my heart something that the rest of me is too wise to understand.

"The abundant life is a spiritual life. Too many sit at the banquet table of the gospel of Jesus Christ and merely nibble at the feast placed before them. They go through the motions—attending their meetings perhaps, glancing at scriptures, repeating familiar prayers—but their hearts are far away. If they are honest, they would admit to being more interested in the latest neighborhood rumors, stock market trends, and their favorite TV show than they are in the supernal wonders and sweet ministerings of the Holy Spirit.

Do you wish to partake of this living water and experience that divine well springing up within you to everlasting life?

Then be not afraid. Believe with all your hearts. Develop an unshakable faith in the Son of God. Let your hearts reach out in earnest prayer. Fill your minds with knowledge of Him. Forsake your weaknesses. Walk in holiness and harmony with the commandments."

I've really been stuck on the Bishop's comments the other night at Relief Society. What makes us happy? What keeps us from being happy?  
Is what makes you happy also what keeps you from being happy sometimes? Or does it seem that way at least?

I greatly desire the abundant life, so why don't I just sit down and eat? If my two year old would just sit down and eat with his fork and spoon and if my ten month old would stop screaming and if my husband  would stop helping little old ladies across the street so he could get home while the banquet is still warm. And what about all these dishes? Which reminds me I only made it to Kroger's and Walmart  today which means I didn't get the dishwasher detergent at Sam's Club which means I am going to have to wash all these dishes by hand! Does everyone really need a salad fork AND a dinner fork? That's it! I'm going to Wendy's! And so it goes (at least in my life). Anyone got any help out there for me? What if you really want it, but you really do have to grocery shop, clean house, change diapers, cook breakfast lunch  and dinner, do dishes, do laundry, etc. too?  Advice? Ideas?

just a spoon full of sugar, that is all it takes.

Just another day at the office…

Let’s say that your average work day is from 7am to 8pm. You work alone from 8 to 5. You do however have a coworker who is there from 5pm to 8pm and from 7am to about 7:50am. Not only is he quite helpful he’s quite attractive which is a bonus! Unfortunately, you are not really alone from 7:50 to 5pm. You have other co “workers”  who while being better looking than you (even in their jammies) do not follow the dress code, do not care to keep the work load distributed evenly, and have emotional problems.

For instance, my coworkers spend a lot of time whining and complaining. While this is common in any work place many employees can at least retreat to the bathroom for some much needed peace and quiet. Not so with me. Every trip to the bathroom the complaints and yes even crying get louder. My coworkers also complain about my lack of efficiency and job quality. Yesterday I diced vegetables and chicken and scrambled eggs to make homemade fried rice for lunch. Let’s compare this to a presentation one might spend hours preparing at work. I arrived and put my offering on the table for review. My coworker took one look at my presentation and crumpled out of his chair and onto the floor wailing, “I dooooooonnn’t  waaaaaaannnnnt THIS!” in disdain. Why can’t I read a story and make lunch at the same time? Why am I not capable of filling a sippie cup and changing a diaper at the same time? Can’t I look all over the house for Nana (blankie) while doing laundry/grocery shopping/bathing children/ arguing with children/beating children ummm I digress sorry anyway back to the office.  

My coworkers show public disapproval of many of my ideas…Naptime? “NOOOOOO!” Diaper change? “NOOOOOO!” Healthy snack instead of Christmas/Halloween/ Valentine’s day/ Easter candy? NOOOOOOOO!” Time to cleanup? "NOOOOOO!" One of my coworkers actually volunteered to take a nap rather than cleanup with me today. When they are not vocalizing their dislike they are generally pretending like they don’t hear me at all. After spending all day fighting tooth and nail with my coworkers to complete one project (say cleaning the toy room for instance) I am forced to point out to my favorite coworker when he arrives at 5ish that it takes a lot of work to “maintain the mess” at the level it was at when he left at 7:50 this morning. I have been working all day just to keep it from getting any messier than when he left! The dishes are stacked no higher in the sink than when he left (a little artful arranging plus a trip to Wendy’s for lunch took care of that), there aren’t anymore toys on the floor than there were this morning (only because we don’t own anymore toys to put on the floor and I staunchly resisted Sam’s efforts at Target to get me to buy him another dollar toy), and the children are just as dirty as when he left (they’ve had two baths and numerous hand and face washing). A job well done! Time for a new job? I think not. Time for a raise? Definitely!