We don't do Santa.
We aren't anti-Santa. He's cute really but we haven't taught out kids to believe in him. Don't worry, around this time of year we break out our copy of the Night Before Christmas. We talk about Santa. We just haven't taught them to believe in him. After 4 1/2 years of having children and lots of stares and gasps of horror (and sad to say a few lost friends) I have decided its time to take a different approach.
We are not teaching our kids to believe in Santa.
We are teaching our kids to understand Santa.
This year I will be teaching my children that WE are Santa. Each Sunday and whenever we can when we run errands we will bring a small wrapped gift (nail polish, an ornament, a candy cane, a dollar, a small toy). They will carry it around with them and pretend that they are Santa until they see someone who is sad or alone or in need and then give it away and say, Merry Christmas.
Saint Nicholas was a kind man who gave what little he had to those who had little hope or faith at Christmastime. We will do the same.
Merry Christmas Everyone!
For those interested, here is why we personally aren't believing in Santa (We don't think others shouldn't, that's not our business.) :
How can we teach our children to focus on a tiny baby born in poverty across the ocean two thousand years ago who will bring them inner peace and quiet joy? (I think this is a hard enough to believe story itself without throwing in eight flying reindeer and a man who slides down chimneys!) How can we help them be selfless as Christ was? How can we help them know that God sees us when we are sleeping and knows when we are awake? He knows when our heart hurts and when our soul needs relief.
Probably not by having them make a list of what they want other people to give them.
Probably not by telling them if they are not good they won't get what they asked for. And then rewarding them regardless of their behavior. We have decided to tell our children that they get gifts at Christmas because we love them and that is why they give us gifts in return because they love us. The gift of the Christ child was to the World not to those who earned it. God so loved the World... (see John 3:16-17 esp. 17)
P.S. Fyi We have talked to our kids about the fact that many people believe in Santa. We told them that it is rude and unkind to tell someone that what they believe in is not true. They have also learned this about people of other faiths. They won't be breaking it to your kids. So don't worry I'm sure it was some jaded kid at school not them : )
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
LRCA Committee Meeting
Wrote this to the guy working on our story minus the P.S. : )
Knowing what I know now if I had the chance (believe me this experience has totally changed me, I had no idea the power of ignorance) I would ask the state of Arkansas, What do you know about Mormons? Go ahead think of it. Make a list in your mind. Now, How do you know these things? We were told we are so incompatible that we could not even exist on the same campus. When we asked which of our teachings. We were told the "vast" differences between the Bible and the Book of Mormon were a major problem. We asked for a list of the differences. Bottom line. No one in that room had read even one line of the Book of Mormon let alone the whole book. They were going on the word of others who had also probably never read it. Now we don't expect others to read the Book of Mormon, but if you want to know about a movie do you ask someone who has seen it or someone who hasn't? They either need to read the book or take the word of those who have over those who haven't. What do I have to gain by miss representing my religion to them? If a Jehovah's Witness or a orthodox Jew or a Bible churcher tells us what their church believes and represents we just accept it and assume that what they are telling us is accurate. When a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints tells someone about the church people generally are suspicious. They think that can't be true that isn't weird enough. We invited them to read the Book of Mormon or visit one of the five LDS congregations in the area or visit mormon.org the churches official site to form their policies so that their policies aren't based on here say.
As I told you I feel like we were sent to meet with a group that would let us feel like we had been heard but not do much else. Since they also were very closed to the idea of others attended the meeting even just to view the proceedings we were obviously to be heard in a very controlled way. Their anger at us involving the media was voiced and we said in as kind a fashion as we could that their desire to keep this a private issue was one that we could only see benefiting their position not ours. They expressed again that if they were to have a dozen or so of their parents come out in support of Mormonism that it would not be important. They suggested that we should quietly find someplace else for Sam. I pointed out (as mentioned in a previous email to you) that because of the condition of the LRSD and the available programs and financial aid this was the only program. Tangent: Feels kind of like separate but equal. I know this is a private institution, but when they suggest that while only the best is good enough for their children (believe me these are people who would swim the Nile to avoid public schooling) and suggest that you can find other more appropriate schooling in an area where almost 100% of the schools are failing the NCLB initiative it is telling. At the time if Brown vs. the Board of Education white schools had excellent materials and trained teachers, black schools had second hand books that were falling apart and teachers who had little training. Do you see the parallel? Obviously I don't expect you to include it, just saying.
Anyway...
In closing, I fully understand why we are excluded. These churches fought to the point of massacres, excommunications, and church sanctioned executions 1500 years ago. Its what made the Nicene council necessary (which was not peaceful or pretty) , its what prompted the Pilgrims, its what created the 95 theses of Martin Luther. This is just another page in the history of Christianity. The church was established in April 1830. Hopefully it won't take another thousand years before people actually look at the doctrine and accept it not as true but as just another branch of Christianity. After this experience however I won't be holding my breath!
Jessi Duncan
P.S. After a forty five minute meeting we were told that they were hearing what we were saying and they could understand what we were saying but their job wasn't to write policy, just to enforce it. So why were we invited to this meeting instead of the one with who ever has the power to change the policy? Sigh, I think they are hoping that we will feel adequately heard and sit down somewhere and be quiet. On the flip side we were photographed by the paper today and it should be coming out soon. The photographer said possibly on Sunday's front page! Please continue praying that this story will come out correctly.
Knowing what I know now if I had the chance (believe me this experience has totally changed me, I had no idea the power of ignorance) I would ask the state of Arkansas, What do you know about Mormons? Go ahead think of it. Make a list in your mind. Now, How do you know these things? We were told we are so incompatible that we could not even exist on the same campus. When we asked which of our teachings. We were told the "vast" differences between the Bible and the Book of Mormon were a major problem. We asked for a list of the differences. Bottom line. No one in that room had read even one line of the Book of Mormon let alone the whole book. They were going on the word of others who had also probably never read it. Now we don't expect others to read the Book of Mormon, but if you want to know about a movie do you ask someone who has seen it or someone who hasn't? They either need to read the book or take the word of those who have over those who haven't. What do I have to gain by miss representing my religion to them? If a Jehovah's Witness or a orthodox Jew or a Bible churcher tells us what their church believes and represents we just accept it and assume that what they are telling us is accurate. When a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints tells someone about the church people generally are suspicious. They think that can't be true that isn't weird enough. We invited them to read the Book of Mormon or visit one of the five LDS congregations in the area or visit mormon.org the churches official site to form their policies so that their policies aren't based on here say.
As I told you I feel like we were sent to meet with a group that would let us feel like we had been heard but not do much else. Since they also were very closed to the idea of others attended the meeting even just to view the proceedings we were obviously to be heard in a very controlled way. Their anger at us involving the media was voiced and we said in as kind a fashion as we could that their desire to keep this a private issue was one that we could only see benefiting their position not ours. They expressed again that if they were to have a dozen or so of their parents come out in support of Mormonism that it would not be important. They suggested that we should quietly find someplace else for Sam. I pointed out (as mentioned in a previous email to you) that because of the condition of the LRSD and the available programs and financial aid this was the only program. Tangent: Feels kind of like separate but equal. I know this is a private institution, but when they suggest that while only the best is good enough for their children (believe me these are people who would swim the Nile to avoid public schooling) and suggest that you can find other more appropriate schooling in an area where almost 100% of the schools are failing the NCLB initiative it is telling. At the time if Brown vs. the Board of Education white schools had excellent materials and trained teachers, black schools had second hand books that were falling apart and teachers who had little training. Do you see the parallel? Obviously I don't expect you to include it, just saying.
Anyway...
In closing, I fully understand why we are excluded. These churches fought to the point of massacres, excommunications, and church sanctioned executions 1500 years ago. Its what made the Nicene council necessary (which was not peaceful or pretty) , its what prompted the Pilgrims, its what created the 95 theses of Martin Luther. This is just another page in the history of Christianity. The church was established in April 1830. Hopefully it won't take another thousand years before people actually look at the doctrine and accept it not as true but as just another branch of Christianity. After this experience however I won't be holding my breath!
Jessi Duncan
P.S. After a forty five minute meeting we were told that they were hearing what we were saying and they could understand what we were saying but their job wasn't to write policy, just to enforce it. So why were we invited to this meeting instead of the one with who ever has the power to change the policy? Sigh, I think they are hoping that we will feel adequately heard and sit down somewhere and be quiet. On the flip side we were photographed by the paper today and it should be coming out soon. The photographer said possibly on Sunday's front page! Please continue praying that this story will come out correctly.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Potty Training 101
A number of people have asked me recently for potty training tips. For those of you who don't know I worked for eight years in early childhood education before having my first child. So here's what I know:
1. Ignore all those people who say your child has to be forty and emotionally secure or he might be scarred for life if you try before he is ready. The only person who will be scarred after potty training is you and possibly your furniture and carpet. Potty training is way more about where you are than where your child is. My recommended age is between 2 1/2 and 3 (as the starting point). Earlier is harder, later is harder, though depending on the child I've heard earlier can work but I have little personal experience there. Once your child is older he/she has discovered what a good deal they've got going and may resist potty training because they prefer having you do the dirty work. Are you at a time or position in life where you are ready to take the next step towards Christlike patience and charity? Or are you currently blowing up at every little thing? Consider this before you embark on the potty training journey! Kids are kids and potty training is no joke. It requires consistent compassion (otherwise known as steel nerves).
2. For children potty training is all about independence. I can not tell you how many parents are still carrying around their large child and wondering why he/she will not potty! Start asking your child to do things for himself such as take his plate to the sink, dress himself, wash his hands, wipe his nose, clean up toys, strap himself in the carseat, etc. Teach him how to do these things. Show him how instead of doing it for him. Your child should be able to get from naked to fully dressed including a simple jacket and slip on or velcro shoes after a few days (two weeks tops) of help. Realize that this means he will also be able to go from fully dressed to naked, but that is okay. That's just a part of being three. Some children enjoy having personal slaves, I mean parents. If your child is one of these invite him to do independence building activities like spreading jam/butter on bread with a butter knife for each family member(give him a dollop then move the jar: ), washing fruits or vegetables, turning off the TV, sweeping, picking clothes out for a younger sibling and himself, opening the van door, etc. In other words fun chores. Start incorporating less fun but necessary chores after a few days when he has gotten used to you asking him to do things.
to be continued....
1. Ignore all those people who say your child has to be forty and emotionally secure or he might be scarred for life if you try before he is ready. The only person who will be scarred after potty training is you and possibly your furniture and carpet. Potty training is way more about where you are than where your child is. My recommended age is between 2 1/2 and 3 (as the starting point). Earlier is harder, later is harder, though depending on the child I've heard earlier can work but I have little personal experience there. Once your child is older he/she has discovered what a good deal they've got going and may resist potty training because they prefer having you do the dirty work. Are you at a time or position in life where you are ready to take the next step towards Christlike patience and charity? Or are you currently blowing up at every little thing? Consider this before you embark on the potty training journey! Kids are kids and potty training is no joke. It requires consistent compassion (otherwise known as steel nerves).
2. For children potty training is all about independence. I can not tell you how many parents are still carrying around their large child and wondering why he/she will not potty! Start asking your child to do things for himself such as take his plate to the sink, dress himself, wash his hands, wipe his nose, clean up toys, strap himself in the carseat, etc. Teach him how to do these things. Show him how instead of doing it for him. Your child should be able to get from naked to fully dressed including a simple jacket and slip on or velcro shoes after a few days (two weeks tops) of help. Realize that this means he will also be able to go from fully dressed to naked, but that is okay. That's just a part of being three. Some children enjoy having personal slaves, I mean parents. If your child is one of these invite him to do independence building activities like spreading jam/butter on bread with a butter knife for each family member(give him a dollop then move the jar: ), washing fruits or vegetables, turning off the TV, sweeping, picking clothes out for a younger sibling and himself, opening the van door, etc. In other words fun chores. Start incorporating less fun but necessary chores after a few days when he has gotten used to you asking him to do things.
to be continued....
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