Why didn't someone tell me that being a mom would be so glamorous? I mean really? There's pregnancy and morning sickness, there's not wanting to shower because its just too tiring to wash all of you,  there's all nighters and poopy diapers, and don't even get me started on breastfeeding! And yet who is creating more of a masterpiece with their life? In the end many who are considered "most influential" in the world will have made a few beautiful strokes on an else wise torn and dirty canvas. A hit song with masterfully written lyrics interwoven with wonderfully evocative music, one stroke. Election to the presidency, maybe two. CEO of a company, one stroke. An academy award, one stroke. Even the very accomplished, eight oscars, thirteen olympic gold medals. Eight strokes, thirteen strokes of the brush-- beautiful though they maybe-- do not a masterpiece make. And then there are mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, grandparents, husbands and wives, children. The beauty of our interactions with them create the strokes that will be our life's work. Laughter at bedtime, teaching them to pray--to believe, service, listening until we understand, kindness, discipline. All beautiful, tiny, necessary strokes. Glamor takes money, art takes time and art takes heart.
Create a masterpiece of your life. Choose beauty. Choose depth instead of shallows. Choose light instead of darkness. Choose peace.

I feel that I should blog. Its been a while. Many, many things have been turning over and over in my mind. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Potty training. Judging based on the content of one's character. Joy. Happiness. Understanding. Peace. The scriptures speak of people whose eyes cannot see afar off. Can mine? The scriptures speak of understanding with your heart and thus becoming converted. According to these verses Christ will heal us if only we will understand. With our hearts. I want the Lord to teach my heart something that the rest of me is too wise to understand.

"The abundant life is a spiritual life. Too many sit at the banquet table of the gospel of Jesus Christ and merely nibble at the feast placed before them. They go through the motions—attending their meetings perhaps, glancing at scriptures, repeating familiar prayers—but their hearts are far away. If they are honest, they would admit to being more interested in the latest neighborhood rumors, stock market trends, and their favorite TV show than they are in the supernal wonders and sweet ministerings of the Holy Spirit.

Do you wish to partake of this living water and experience that divine well springing up within you to everlasting life?

Then be not afraid. Believe with all your hearts. Develop an unshakable faith in the Son of God. Let your hearts reach out in earnest prayer. Fill your minds with knowledge of Him. Forsake your weaknesses. Walk in holiness and harmony with the commandments."

I've really been stuck on the Bishop's comments the other night at Relief Society. What makes us happy? What keeps us from being happy?  
Is what makes you happy also what keeps you from being happy sometimes? Or does it seem that way at least?

I greatly desire the abundant life, so why don't I just sit down and eat? If my two year old would just sit down and eat with his fork and spoon and if my ten month old would stop screaming and if my husband  would stop helping little old ladies across the street so he could get home while the banquet is still warm. And what about all these dishes? Which reminds me I only made it to Kroger's and Walmart  today which means I didn't get the dishwasher detergent at Sam's Club which means I am going to have to wash all these dishes by hand! Does everyone really need a salad fork AND a dinner fork? That's it! I'm going to Wendy's! And so it goes (at least in my life). Anyone got any help out there for me? What if you really want it, but you really do have to grocery shop, clean house, change diapers, cook breakfast lunch  and dinner, do dishes, do laundry, etc. too?  Advice? Ideas?

Wearing my mother's wisdom

Let me begin by saying that my mother is an original in every sense of the word. I have lived in Connecticut, New York, Arkansas, and Utah. I have been to 24 of the 50 states and I have never, ever met anyone like my mother. That said, I am learning as I grow older how much I would like to be like her in many important ways. Many times we are frustrated with our parents for dressing us in hand-me-down wisdom and old fashioned insight when we want to go out in what's new and hip. Time's have changed! Here's the thing-- you can't change the way you were raised. It covers you like a cloak til one day, when you're all grown up with kids of your own (who argue with you nonstop) you look down and discover you've been wearing pearls all along.
One of the things I learned from my mother is that you don't have to be the perfect parent, you just have to try really hard. And keep trying. One day your children will understand (and appreciate) your sincere effort not your perfection. Everyone has to at least respect a person of principle, someone who lives what they believe. My mother never told me this. I learned it from my own attitude towards her. One day at around twenty one years of age I turned around and said, "What would make someone live that hard?" "What could make someone give and go and do and be from sun up to sundown (and her candle goeth not out by night Proverbs 31:18) everyday of her life?" She understood something my heart did not. But her example spoke to my soul and that is why I am where I am today. I went through the storm, not quite prodigal but not the easiest kid, either. Now I try to wear her wisdom proudly. Its what she deserves.


Quotes that inspire my parenting and remind me of my Mama:
"Parents who love their children cannot afford to be intimidated by them."  --Elder Larry R. Lawrence
“Parenting is not a popularity contest.”  --Elder Joe J. Christensen
“Sometimes we are afraid of our children—afraid to counsel with them for fear of offending them.'    --Elder Robert D. Hales
Courageous Parenting Article--  http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1298-30,00.html