My letter to an editor

Dear Little Rock Family,

I really enjoy your magazine and its dedication to all things family. I am a Little Rock native who has been away for years and recently returned to the beautiful natural state (right during the hottest summer ever!) I love it here and truly feel our city has so much to offer. I do have one item that I would like to bring to your attention not as a complaint but as a suggestion for future issues. I feel that the “average stay at home mom” is under represented in the world and in the cover stories of your magazine. In a world where the SuperMom complex has reached epidemic proportions I feel it unfair to those of us who “just stay home” to represent Mommyhood as running marathons, organizing campaigns, work in public media, etc. I have truly enjoyed these articles and learning about these Moms and their busy, successful lives, but I consider their lives successful because they are moms not because they are busy ( : Being a good parent takes time and I really admire and enjoy hearing about people who take hits to their social status, personal agenda, and even job standing to parent effectively. Sometimes you can “have your cake and eat it too” but this is very often not the case. There are many of us who don’t “do what we love” because we love our kids. Many assume that we do not have as much passion for work as other (“Well I understand you stay at home, but not her she just loves being a nurse SO much she couldn’t possibly!”) more dedicated individuals or that we have more patience or that we are just “good at mothering.” Raise your hand if you enjoy poopy diapers and housework! Uh, not me. I am not at all patient and there are plenty of things I would rather be doing. I feel that I am teaching my kids an important lesson by staying home with them. Among other things I am teaching them we do not always do what is the most fun or the easiest. We do what is right. Period. I want my kids to be the ones that stop inappropriate bullying, I want my kids to be the ones that sacrifice winning to play the game honestly, I want my kids to be the ones that put people before profits. To do this they will have to be willing to take a hit to their social status here or there, sacrifice their personal agendas, and put others first.

One of my professors wrote an article in which he discussed the idea of finding balance in home and work life. He contended that what we need to find is not balance at all but harmony. He used the example of a symphony orchestra. If all the instruments played together at the same time at the same speed and volume it would not be beautiful music. We need crescendo and decrescendo. We need emphasis on a particular instrument or group of instruments, one instrument growing louder while the others dim or vice versa. That is how beautiful music is created and that is how a beautiful life is created. A wise man once said, “Create a masterpiece of your life.” With each moment I spend with my children I am creating their life experience, something that no one else can do. I have been educated at the university level and have worked in early childhood classrooms (including daycare, preschool, and kindergarten). I have taught parenting classes in Spanish for

United Way

and the DHS. I have been a missionary for my church. I have captained a state championship gymnastics team. And I have been replaced. In all of these capacities, when a child says, “Teacher,” when a parent says, “Maestra,” when a teammate says, “Captain,” they are no longer addressing me. But when my now two year old is eighty years old when he says, “Mama” he will always mean me. I do not think only stay at home moms deserve respect, but I do believe that they have a story just like everyone else that deserves to be told. Thank you for a wonderful magazine and your attention to this letter.

Sincerely,

Jessi

www.iamnotmyskin.blogspot.com

Political frustrations

Okay, this is not poetic but it needs to be said... Don't engage in political education that involves hatred. It is becoming quite popular nowadays. Don't do it!
Even if the person has some good/legitimate points (not to mention lots of money, several syndicated radio shows, and several book deals) what he doesn't have is the spirit.

We are allowed to have differing views, we should have differing views. 

We should never, ever, ever consider ourselves "Arguing with Idiots." We may discuss with fellow children of God, but we are already wrong if we are starting out with the idea of idiots.
We use the Spirit and unbiased educational tools (past voting records, etc.) to help us make political decisions and we should allow others the same privilege.
When we listen to these hatemongers and their urgent messages we become urgent ourselves and begin to believe everything they teach. Yes, I said teach. This is not the Lord's way. His way is that the teacher and the learner might both be edified together.
Good points+legitimate arguments+namecalling+sarcasm+egotism does not equal edifying listening or reading

Wearing my mother's wisdom

Let me begin by saying that my mother is an original in every sense of the word. I have lived in Connecticut, New York, Arkansas, and Utah. I have been to 24 of the 50 states and I have never, ever met anyone like my mother. That said, I am learning as I grow older how much I would like to be like her in many important ways. Many times we are frustrated with our parents for dressing us in hand-me-down wisdom and old fashioned insight when we want to go out in what's new and hip. Time's have changed! Here's the thing-- you can't change the way you were raised. It covers you like a cloak til one day, when you're all grown up with kids of your own (who argue with you nonstop) you look down and discover you've been wearing pearls all along.
One of the things I learned from my mother is that you don't have to be the perfect parent, you just have to try really hard. And keep trying. One day your children will understand (and appreciate) your sincere effort not your perfection. Everyone has to at least respect a person of principle, someone who lives what they believe. My mother never told me this. I learned it from my own attitude towards her. One day at around twenty one years of age I turned around and said, "What would make someone live that hard?" "What could make someone give and go and do and be from sun up to sundown (and her candle goeth not out by night Proverbs 31:18) everyday of her life?" She understood something my heart did not. But her example spoke to my soul and that is why I am where I am today. I went through the storm, not quite prodigal but not the easiest kid, either. Now I try to wear her wisdom proudly. Its what she deserves.


Quotes that inspire my parenting and remind me of my Mama:
"Parents who love their children cannot afford to be intimidated by them."  --Elder Larry R. Lawrence
“Parenting is not a popularity contest.”  --Elder Joe J. Christensen
“Sometimes we are afraid of our children—afraid to counsel with them for fear of offending them.'    --Elder Robert D. Hales
Courageous Parenting Article--  http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1298-30,00.html

Thanksgiving Daily

Eat your leftovers!

I don't like leftovers!

No, I'm not talking about men, I'm talking about food. It does not matter what kind they are or how good the food was originally.

I don't want it after day one.

Why is this blog worthy, you ask. Because I'm pretty sure the eating of leftovers (or not) is a small symbol of a much bigger issue. I'm almost positive that people who willingly, wait let me change that to happily/joyfully eat leftovers get to go through the pearly gates express lane. You know the line where they don't ask you any questions, they just open the door and let you in. I think liking leftovers has some kind of large but inscrutable connection to being a humble person. My husband likes leftovers. I know people who absolutely love leftovers. I bet Mother Theresa ate leftovers all the time. So did Martin Luther King Jr., Ghandi, Moses, President Hinckley, and a host of other saintly people! Here's my problem: On the nights when I don't feel like cooking I doubly don't feel like something icky out of the fridge, I feel like P.F. Chang. See pride issue. Also the only reason I can see that I should start trying to like leftovers is because we definitely can not have Braden getting into heaven that much easier than me...see another pride issue. After reading President Monson's talk on gratitude  http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1298-27,00.html I decided it is time for a change of attitude. President Monson is the president and prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He knows how to be happy and he knows what we need to do to be happy. And he probably enjoys leftovers...

A good friend who is also a stay at home mom facebook'ed saying, "I'm not lovn' being a mom today... :( "
To which I responded, "I think its a sign of sanity when you have those days. Lets be honest only someone who wasn't quite clicking on all eight cylinders would LOVE being a mom all the time! Whenever I have those days I just pat myself on the back and think well at least there's one thing the kids haven't gotten yet, they may have taken over my body, my house, and my husband but at least I still have enough sanity left to know that sometimes I don't like it!"

Believe!

So I am going to start blogging with this disclaimer...as India Arie sings, I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am not your expectations. No.  I am a soul that lives within. So before I start I'd like to say that I am not my blog. I am a soul. I spend all day and all night sustaining life, creating joy, and defining existence. I am a stay at home mom (SAHM). God created the world for me and I create it each day for them. I may not wash my my hair everyday, but that is because I am too busy making the sun come up for my 2 1/2 year old. I may not cook a seven course (or even a one course : ) meal every afternoon, but that is because I can't stop feeding my seven month old's curiousity. Too many children are hurt, too many adults are broken. I am blogging because the only difference between them and me is that I know who and what I am. I am a soul that lives within.