Why didn't someone tell me that being a mom would be so glamorous? I mean really? There's pregnancy and morning sickness, there's not wanting to shower because its just too tiring to wash all of you,  there's all nighters and poopy diapers, and don't even get me started on breastfeeding! And yet who is creating more of a masterpiece with their life? In the end many who are considered "most influential" in the world will have made a few beautiful strokes on an else wise torn and dirty canvas. A hit song with masterfully written lyrics interwoven with wonderfully evocative music, one stroke. Election to the presidency, maybe two. CEO of a company, one stroke. An academy award, one stroke. Even the very accomplished, eight oscars, thirteen olympic gold medals. Eight strokes, thirteen strokes of the brush-- beautiful though they maybe-- do not a masterpiece make. And then there are mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, grandparents, husbands and wives, children. The beauty of our interactions with them create the strokes that will be our life's work. Laughter at bedtime, teaching them to pray--to believe, service, listening until we understand, kindness, discipline. All beautiful, tiny, necessary strokes. Glamor takes money, art takes time and art takes heart.
Create a masterpiece of your life. Choose beauty. Choose depth instead of shallows. Choose light instead of darkness. Choose peace.

My letter to an editor

Dear Little Rock Family,

I really enjoy your magazine and its dedication to all things family. I am a Little Rock native who has been away for years and recently returned to the beautiful natural state (right during the hottest summer ever!) I love it here and truly feel our city has so much to offer. I do have one item that I would like to bring to your attention not as a complaint but as a suggestion for future issues. I feel that the “average stay at home mom” is under represented in the world and in the cover stories of your magazine. In a world where the SuperMom complex has reached epidemic proportions I feel it unfair to those of us who “just stay home” to represent Mommyhood as running marathons, organizing campaigns, work in public media, etc. I have truly enjoyed these articles and learning about these Moms and their busy, successful lives, but I consider their lives successful because they are moms not because they are busy ( : Being a good parent takes time and I really admire and enjoy hearing about people who take hits to their social status, personal agenda, and even job standing to parent effectively. Sometimes you can “have your cake and eat it too” but this is very often not the case. There are many of us who don’t “do what we love” because we love our kids. Many assume that we do not have as much passion for work as other (“Well I understand you stay at home, but not her she just loves being a nurse SO much she couldn’t possibly!”) more dedicated individuals or that we have more patience or that we are just “good at mothering.” Raise your hand if you enjoy poopy diapers and housework! Uh, not me. I am not at all patient and there are plenty of things I would rather be doing. I feel that I am teaching my kids an important lesson by staying home with them. Among other things I am teaching them we do not always do what is the most fun or the easiest. We do what is right. Period. I want my kids to be the ones that stop inappropriate bullying, I want my kids to be the ones that sacrifice winning to play the game honestly, I want my kids to be the ones that put people before profits. To do this they will have to be willing to take a hit to their social status here or there, sacrifice their personal agendas, and put others first.

One of my professors wrote an article in which he discussed the idea of finding balance in home and work life. He contended that what we need to find is not balance at all but harmony. He used the example of a symphony orchestra. If all the instruments played together at the same time at the same speed and volume it would not be beautiful music. We need crescendo and decrescendo. We need emphasis on a particular instrument or group of instruments, one instrument growing louder while the others dim or vice versa. That is how beautiful music is created and that is how a beautiful life is created. A wise man once said, “Create a masterpiece of your life.” With each moment I spend with my children I am creating their life experience, something that no one else can do. I have been educated at the university level and have worked in early childhood classrooms (including daycare, preschool, and kindergarten). I have taught parenting classes in Spanish for

United Way

and the DHS. I have been a missionary for my church. I have captained a state championship gymnastics team. And I have been replaced. In all of these capacities, when a child says, “Teacher,” when a parent says, “Maestra,” when a teammate says, “Captain,” they are no longer addressing me. But when my now two year old is eighty years old when he says, “Mama” he will always mean me. I do not think only stay at home moms deserve respect, but I do believe that they have a story just like everyone else that deserves to be told. Thank you for a wonderful magazine and your attention to this letter.

Sincerely,

Jessi

www.iamnotmyskin.blogspot.com

Wearing my mother's wisdom

Let me begin by saying that my mother is an original in every sense of the word. I have lived in Connecticut, New York, Arkansas, and Utah. I have been to 24 of the 50 states and I have never, ever met anyone like my mother. That said, I am learning as I grow older how much I would like to be like her in many important ways. Many times we are frustrated with our parents for dressing us in hand-me-down wisdom and old fashioned insight when we want to go out in what's new and hip. Time's have changed! Here's the thing-- you can't change the way you were raised. It covers you like a cloak til one day, when you're all grown up with kids of your own (who argue with you nonstop) you look down and discover you've been wearing pearls all along.
One of the things I learned from my mother is that you don't have to be the perfect parent, you just have to try really hard. And keep trying. One day your children will understand (and appreciate) your sincere effort not your perfection. Everyone has to at least respect a person of principle, someone who lives what they believe. My mother never told me this. I learned it from my own attitude towards her. One day at around twenty one years of age I turned around and said, "What would make someone live that hard?" "What could make someone give and go and do and be from sun up to sundown (and her candle goeth not out by night Proverbs 31:18) everyday of her life?" She understood something my heart did not. But her example spoke to my soul and that is why I am where I am today. I went through the storm, not quite prodigal but not the easiest kid, either. Now I try to wear her wisdom proudly. Its what she deserves.


Quotes that inspire my parenting and remind me of my Mama:
"Parents who love their children cannot afford to be intimidated by them."  --Elder Larry R. Lawrence
“Parenting is not a popularity contest.”  --Elder Joe J. Christensen
“Sometimes we are afraid of our children—afraid to counsel with them for fear of offending them.'    --Elder Robert D. Hales
Courageous Parenting Article--  http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1298-30,00.html

Believe!

So I am going to start blogging with this disclaimer...as India Arie sings, I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am not your expectations. No.  I am a soul that lives within. So before I start I'd like to say that I am not my blog. I am a soul. I spend all day and all night sustaining life, creating joy, and defining existence. I am a stay at home mom (SAHM). God created the world for me and I create it each day for them. I may not wash my my hair everyday, but that is because I am too busy making the sun come up for my 2 1/2 year old. I may not cook a seven course (or even a one course : ) meal every afternoon, but that is because I can't stop feeding my seven month old's curiousity. Too many children are hurt, too many adults are broken. I am blogging because the only difference between them and me is that I know who and what I am. I am a soul that lives within.